Counterpart – Extroverted/Gut
In this conflict, your counterpart reacts as follows:
Extroverted and “From a gut feeling”
So your counterpart is a “charming communicator” and, under stress, a “furious dolphin” who acts in the following manner:
Here are some of the most prominent features for this type of stress typology:
- Accusations
- Verbal attacks
- Reinterpreting the situation
- Evasion
- Emotional overreaction (sometimes irascibly, in extreme cases hysteric and “freaking out”)
- In case of escalation, you often have the following thoughts or feelings: “Not with me, I’m gonna show him”.
Their motivation, i.e. their intention is:
- Appreciation of their character and feelings
What your counterpart wants to avoid, what they mostly fear:
- To remain unheard
- Rules
- Do something wrong
- Failing
- Be replaced
Stressors, i.e. behaviour that stresses your counterpart:
- Putting someone in a bad light
- Arrogance
- Decisions of your counterpart
- Ranting
- Ignorance toward them
Recommendation on how to deal with this stress pattern:
- Face up to the situation
- Serenity
- Affirmation of the other person through comments (but sincere ones)
- Show feelings
- Transfer responsibility
- Encourage creativity through open questions
- Put essential decisions in writing
- If-then-statements; make clear when an action will follow from your side
- If necessary, say “stop”, adjourn the meeting and leave
- “I can see that this is affecting you. But please don’t take that tone with me. Let’s discuss this in peace later on.”
Copyright Dr. Gabriele Lang
Use your skills and tools for future situations. This will help you release “tensions in the air”. It helps you distinguish your counterpart, i.e. the person from their behaviour. On the premise “skill comes with practice”, think about it especially in stress situations and apply what you know now.
